Pursuing Veritas

There are many ills associated with social media. And most days, I’m more than willing to reflect on how we’ve collectively decided to destroy civilization and our mental health in one fell swoop.

But I was recently reminded of one positive part of social media: lasting relationships. One of my favorite baseball writers, Michael Baumann, said it better than I can. So here’s his reminder:

If you have any sense at all, you probably deactivated your Facebook account years ago, and thus liberated yourself from knowing intimate details about your distant relatives, schoolmates, and old co-workers. In this situation, it’s nevertheless helpful if your partner, or a close friend, remains plugged in. All the more so if they’re an inveterate gossip. Because even if you don’t want the fire hose of information, a little splash of water every now and then is refreshing.

Your second cousin once removed? Getting divorced for the third time, and getting really into NFTs about a year too late. The girl you asked (unsuccessfully) to junior prom? Just won a local Emmy for her work as a TV meteorologist. Booger from the sales department at your first job out of college? Newly ordained as a deacon at his church. Good for you, Booger.

As we go through life, we accumulate people according to time and context. A very small percentage of those stick and become lifelong friends; most drift away when circumstances change. Even people who are vitally important at one time — even roommates, romantic partners, confidants — float away sooner or later, to be replaced by some other person more suitable to the new social context.

Some might see this as a cold, misanthropic way of looking at relationships, but I find quite the opposite. There’s something beautiful about the idea that a chance encounter can lead to a relationship that shapes the rest of your life. And just because a friendship is temporary doesn’t diminish its importance. We all know the pang of poignancy that comes with thinking about someone for the first time in five years after not having spoken to them in 15.

This person was meaningful to me once, you might think as the hint of a smile wrinkles the corner of your mouth. Then they graduated, or moved away, or — in Kris Bryant’s case — signed with the Colorado Rockies.

I think Baumann is right. There is something meaningful and beautiful about the opportunity to, in some way, transcend the ruptures that occur as part of our transient society and maintain at least a “little splash of water” relationship. Such relationships remind us of many things: the passing of time. How we’ve changed. How we’ve grown. Lessons we’ve learned. Lessons we wish we’d learned earlier.

So yes, let’s be wiser with our use of social media. But today at least, remember there’s the occasional treasure to be found as well.